I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
day 29, they still suspect nothing
stop hating on girls who wanna kiss people in museums or aquariums or art galleries stop hating on girls who want things that might be cliche stop hating on girls who want boys to treat them like they’re magic i will protect all girls with my life and just because they care about things that you don’t doesn’t give you the right to belittle them ok i will fight u
I CANT STOP LAUGHING
this will always be my favorite
I have reblogged this before and I’ll reblog it again
That was so beautiful
"time to go find a new character name"
"wait a second"
"is that what i think it is"
"he’s sure to win everyone’s hearts"
he must grow up to be a total prick
Here’s your gun, dear.
Oh thanks, sweetheart.
*boss ass bitch plays in the distance*
Three of my favorite people are on this.
"There there, I’m sorry I scared you. *pats and kisses* you’re a good dog, good dog."